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A Nudists’ Meaning of March Madness

By Tom Mulhall, The Terra Cotta Inn

In a couple of days it will finally be spring. For gardeners, it’s the start of spring planting season. For Northerners, it might hold a sign of warmer weather to come after a particularly challenging winter. But for college basketball fans, March means only one thing…March Madness!

Nudists, however, think of March Madness a little differently. A Nudist’s Meaning of March Madness has become a yearly tradition we just can’t resist.


Here are the top 10 March Madness words and their meanings to nudists. Read, then add your own!

1) NCAA – No Clothes Allowed Anytime

2) March Madness – A nudist’s state of mind after having been bundled up all winter long. Some northern nudists have even been known to have March Madness set in so bad, they run outside naked and make snow angels.

3) Free throw – Throwing your friend into the pool without them knowing it.

4) Point spread – The distance you have to walk from your nudist resort hotel room to the pool.

5) Guard – Covering your skin with lots of sunscreen.

6) Rebound – Regaining your sanity by relaxing, restoring, and rejuvenating your mental well-being by taking a Nakation.

7) 3 point play – Getting to play volleyball, play tennis, and play in the sand naked all in the same day.

8) Foul – Having to wear clothes all week long while waiting to get away to your favorite nudist resort.

9) Fouling out – Having to cancel your Nakation because your boss says you have to work overtime.

10) Tip Off – Telling all your friends about the fun nudist resort vacation you just came home from. And this will actually be the first time ever your friends will really want to see your vacation photos.

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3 Responses to A Nudists’ Meaning of March Madness

  1. Michael Dow says:

    Technical foul: Sitting down without your towel.
    Benched: Sitting down WITH your towel.
    Substitution: Spending the day at your favorite clothing optional venue, instead of the office.
    MVP: Many visible penises.

  2. Bob Brown says:

    Give and Go: Give your unneeded clothes to the nearest thrift shop and go to a place where naked is normal.

  3. Rich Roussin says:

    Traveling – what many of us do because we can’t go au naturel in our local park.
    Double dribble – two people walking after skinny dipping before toweling off.
    Final Four – the die-hards who are the very last to leave the nude beach.
    Overtime – how a selfconscious newbie nudist gets to feeling comfortable being nude amongst others.
    ESPN – Every Sunbather Prefers Nudity

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