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A Singular Life

By Melissa Lapier

My mother’s worst nightmare has come true: I’m 36 years old and single.  Or maybe her worst nightmare is that I’ve brought her no grandchildren.  Either way, I’m not what she planned for. When I was a little girl, I always assumed that by the ripe old age of 36 I’d be married with a few kids and a dog.  Well, I have the dog and my life is the most perfect life of anyone I know.  Each day I wake up nude, go to a job I love (or work from home, if I so desire), talk or meet with dear friends, and enjoy numerous forms of recreation that I love.  In short, I guess the husband and kids aren’t needed for me to live the happiest life of anyone I know.  It wasn’t in my plans to be single but I’m finding that it’s worked out rather nicely.  Shirley MacLaine once said, “I don’t need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves.”  I think she’s right.

Being single is wonderful but being discriminated against for being single is not.  I consistently hear about discrimination against single men in nudism; they’re not welcome at many clubs, they’re suspected to be of worse moral character than couples, they should call ahead to ensure that they will be welcome at a club, etc.  Many of these single men have noted to me that I’m lucky to be a single woman because I’m welcome everywhere and treasured in all nudist environments.  I have news for these single men and for the couples who also believe it to be true: it just ain’t so.

Though life is good, I do notice that I, as a single woman, run in to some disadvantages within the nudist world.   These disadvantages are not evident outside of nudism, by the way.  There are clubs that I am not permitted to visit, extra costs for a nude cruise due to my single status, odd expectations that I’m a predator, other odd expectations that I need extra “protection” due to being a single woman, and the list goes on.

Experiencing nudism as a single woman is also downright humorous at times.  The assumption that I “should” be married off quickly because of the gender imbalance within the nudist community always makes me laugh.  Individuals who expect that I’m visiting an AANR club solely to meet “Mr. Perfect” also cracks me up; is that the only reason for a single woman to visit?  The ample help that’s available for me—you know, the help that I don’t need as an empowered woman—brings a smile to my face, too.   All of this because I’m a single woman.  (Note: I’ve heard that gay, lesbian, and bisexual nudists run into many of the same difficulties that singles do.)

The whole concept of different allowances and expectations due to my being a single woman is outrageous and a sign that nudism isn’t keeping up with the times.  According to, 96 million people in America are single, which amounts to 43% of all adults over the age of 18.  If nudists are representative of Americans as a whole, that means 43% of all adults will be unwelcome in some AANR locations or have to pay excessive fees to participate in the nudist adventure of their choice simply because of their marital status.  More than half of these unmarried adults are women; there are reportedly 100 single women for every 88 single men.

Which begs the question: if being single is so common, why is it that single nudists—both male and female—are experiencing discrimination?  Why is it that we allow this discrimination?  What are we to do about it?  As AANR and each club within AANR look to the future, I believe these questions need to be answered and acted upon.  Only then can we truly serve our members and display the acceptance that is the hallmark of nudism.

This is the first article in a new monthly Bulletin column that will be Melissa’s way of discussing the wonderful yet weird world of a single nudist.

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49 Responses to A Singular Life

  1. Pingback: - Nothing To Dread

  2. Perhaps the obvious solution is to stop trying so hard to be accepted by the private clubs who obviously don’t want or need our money. When you do find a venue that gladly welcomes singles, we should do our best to promote them.

    Sadly, discrimination (in all its various forms) has been around for a long time. I find it easier to associate with people who accept me than to try to change the minds and attitudes of those who don’t.

  3. John says:

    This is very true. I like the fact that some one has wrote something to do with this, I feel that just because we are single we are “BAD”. Great article.

  4. Pingback: “A Singular Life” « Naturist Review

  5. Scott says:

    I agree with the point that single male nudists are assumed to be predators/swingers/pedophiles. I am married; however, my spouse does not partake in social nudism. Therefore, private clubs are off limits to me. There does exist a GLBT nudist group that readily accepts singles; unfortunately, that group is a 4-hour drive from the city I reside in.

  6. Pingback: A Singular LifeThe Alltogether | The Alltogether « home clothes free

  7. Linda says:

    I have to agree with Melissa. I am also a single woman in the nudist world and sometimes it is not a plus. But I have been very fortunate to be able to join a club that does accept single nudists. My fear was that the women that belong there would be jealous of a single woman around their partners. But I have found that is not the case and have been accepted as part of the whole family. I have visited another club which was fine about letting me come a s a single but except for the friends that I met there later in the day not one member spoke to me. I found that very disheartening. And I am usually a very outgoing person.

  8. Ralph says:

    How true. I once called a local club for just the opportunity to do a day visit. When they found out I am single, no chance even for a day visit. Another club would allow me day visits, but no membership opportunities. This seems to be prevelant at most clubs.

    Seems they would be open to providing access to singles, since these are the people that would boost their revenue significantly. It IS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, right?

    • Ray says:

      I had the same experience with a club. I called the club to ask for more information and was called back the same day, even though their business hours are only on Saturdays. As soon as it was known that I was a single male, they waited a week to mail the application and only did so because I called again thinking it got lost in the mail. I gave them my PERSONAL information on the application, only to receive a letter a week later that stated that they were not taking any new members this year and try again next year. I found the whole ordeal very insulting.

      • Ray says:

        To follow up on my earlier post, I should make it known that I emailed the AANR about the problem asking how they expect people to join if they cannot go to a club once they are a member of AANR. Apparently they don’t want my money either. I think that these clubs claiming to be “accepting” of people is a big charade. I think that they are run by people who only like to see nude women.

  9. Crystal Moontan says:

    It is not just single men who are given the bum’s rush (pun intended). As a single woman and then as a married woman traveling solo, I have also been banned from AANR clubs. But I disagree that we should simply stop trying so hard to be accepted!

    Our country was founded on the rights of individual freedoms. Civil rights activists have been on the front lines of these battles every day of every year on behalf of individuals who are banned from something based on prejudice.

    Thank you, Melissa, for your compelling story and to AANR for promoting this issue.

    Gender balancing originated with fearful WWII generation club owners who have not been able to move out of their cultural biases.

    Having been to AANR clubs all over the U.S., I find that the majority of the time, it is not the female half of a couple doing the fear-mongering or complaining, it’s the old lions – the Alpha males who cannot conceive of the fact that we women are quite comfortable in nude settings without their domineering actions on our behalf. I am quite capable of saying “no thanks” on my own and am not shy about speaking to club management when I see something that needs their attention.

    And I do NOT think that every time a male glances my way he is “leering,” nor do I worry when one walks up to me that I will be hit on. Let’s get real here.

    Leering and hitting on women happens in grocery stores, bars, fitness centers, malls, public parks and workplaces every day. To decide that this is an issue unique to the nudist world and then to use it to justify overly aggressive efforts to prevent it is to denigrate what we as nudists cherish most about our lifestyle and it shows an unhealthy lack of respect for our decision to free ourselves from the constraints of the textile world.

    I am a Vietnam and Desert Storm military veteran. Do you really think I need to be protected by old lions, many of whom are just trying to limit single males because their own egos suffer in their presence?

    I am happy that my home club judges visitors and prospective members based on their behavior, not who came with them to the club. My dream is for all AANR clubs to offer the same.

    Then, and only then, will the American nudist community be able to celebrate total freedom from the textile world. Keep up the good fight!

    And never stop until all of us are judged by our character, not by who is with us when we show up at the gate.

    • Mark says:

      Wow, Crystal – Amen to that! What a sad situation we’d have if everybody gave up trying to change things for the better.
      Interesting theory about the “old lions.” If some of them are having this much bad influence in the nudist world, then we have to confront it openly and decide as a community how to change their attitudes – or more likely – how to get the resorts to stop being so influenced by them. I Think of all the potential members we could be losing, and all the time we’re wondering why.

  10. Judy says:

    I loved going to new clubs and the friendships made when I was part of a couple. Now that I am single, so much changed. I don’t want a new “Mr Right” I just want to enjoy my life as a nudist, and the friendship of others that love the lifestyle too. Where I live it is a 2 hr drive to the closest, and although I am allowed, I am made to feel uncomfortable about being single. I don’t go anymore, and have Let my AANR membership go. I am an outgoing, friendly, person normally, why can’t I be accepted as I am. The article hit it dead on, you lost me, how many more will be lost?

    • Joe says:

      I hope you will find a suitable partner to join you at your clubs. Obviuosly I don;t know how old you are or where you live, but if you are nearby Palmerton, Pa then we should visit as a couple. No Strings!

      • Tim S says:

        Very nicely written by Melissa and an experience shard by so many of us. I think Joe you are missing the point though. What we want is to enjoy nudism at any club, resort, or beach how we went and when we want. We want to meet and make friends not be forced into have a nude resort travel buddy to get through the gate. When AANR deals with this issue, maybe then more singles will find it worth their time and money to join AANR.

      • Slightly off topic, but you ended by saying “no strings.” How did you know that the new column is being called No Strings Attached?????? lol!

        • Joe says:


          I didn’t miss your point at all about being able to go to any resort without prejudice. I was just trying to think outside the box a little. I go single and I would rather go as a couple. Just my preference.

      • Thomas says:

        Why should she =have= to “find a suitable partner” to attend a club? Methinks you miss the point…

  11. Dan says:

    There is fairly simple solution to the problem of clubs discriminating against singles: Don’t allow it. Clubs that do not comply with the principles of AANR (one of them being that nude recreation is open to everyone regardless of race, gender, marital status, and sexual orientation) should not be allowed to be affiliated with AANR. Why is this so complicated? AANR board of directors: JUST DO IT! It’s 2012! Come on!

    • Felicity J. says:

      Dan, it is SO great to read something we’ve been saying for the last year! We (as YNA) are totally with you on this!! Nudist clubs/resorts should not be allowed to discriminate: it contradicts the whole nudist philosophy. How can we say nudism is about “acceptance” when people are discriminated against because of marital status or how they look? Leaders in AANR have told us that they can’t tell owners how to run their club/resort/business. And yet they already do, since in order to be a 100% AANR club, there are requirements, including all members must belong to AANR (correct me if I’m wrong). So why can’t they require 100% AANR clubs to agree not to discriminate? Obviously clubs have a choice in the matter, but they can choose to be or not to be a 100% AANR club.
      That being said, I don’t blame clubs/resorts for limiting the number of single men who get memberships. Single women ARE lacking in the nudist world (perhaps for the reasons Melissa cites, I’m not sure), and they aren’t likely to return to a resort with a 10-1 ratio. I think men are just more comfortable with social nudity. But I’ve made it one of my goals to get more women involved!

  12. Jay Sulkowsky says:

    There are some resorts that have the interesting criteria for single males. Come with a partner OR be a member of the AANR for at least two years (I think that was it). I wonder how the AA NR gives these clubs any comfort? I am a member but they don’t have a picture of me or a police file on me as far as I know so how am I a “safer bet” just because of this membership?

  13. Joe says:

    So far I can honestly say that I have not been discriminated against and I believe that is the case because of my age. I feel age discriminated! lol

    Seriously, if any woman would like me to join them in a nudist experience near my home base I would be more than happy to sign a agreement, that I will be a perfect gentlemen at all times. Being a single male nudist I would also be protected from discrimination.

    Have a great nude day, month, year!


  14. Jan says:

    Before I joined lake como in florida i went there as a single and they welcomed me with open arms..AS I joined their membership they did a back ground check. For the ones who are not permitted to go to clubs because you are single you need to post it so for all to see then we will not do business with them.. If they dont think that its fair WELL it isnt fair you discriminate against singles.

  15. John says:

    Clearly this article has struck a chord judging from the responses and I can empathize to some extend since I had a “reluctant spouse” when I began to explore the possibility of trying social nude recreation for the first time.

    For the most part I agree and a purely behavior based policy seems to work well for some of the larger clubs and events that I have visited. But (you knew there had to be a but) I don’t believe the issue is quite as simple as it seems at first glance. In my experience this can be a tricky issues especially for smaller non-landed clubs who meet quite often in homes or rental facilities. The problem is that despite the demographic statistics cited by Melissa those statistics don’t seem to translate well to the nudist world since the single nudist woman is almost an endangered species in some areas in addition to the whole “reluctant spouse” issue.

    There are exceptions of course but the majority of women both single and married that I have spoken with just don’t feel as comfortable when the men out number the women about 8 or 10 to 1. It’s nothing against any individual person but simply the initial perception. It’s also been my experience that for many of these women the gender balance is less of an issue once they’ve gotten to know people. For a woman trying nude recreation for the first time (and again of course there are exceptions and perhaps a higher percentage amongst younger women) the perceived gender balance can be even more of an issue. I’ve heard numerous reports of both couples and single women who have visited a club, turned around right away and left because they were simply overwhelmed.

    Is it discrimination? I’m not so sure it is if the policies are applied consistently.

  16. John says:

    Melissa, how right you are. I can’t tell you how many single men have encountered this discrimination. Before I was married, it took an act of God and lots of $$ to be allowed to visit a club for a day. Let’s all keep fighting this discrimination. It isn’t right. Maybe we should start a list of clubs that charge couples one price, and single folk higher prices…..and then speak with our feet. Or maybe we should apply pressure to them in other ways. I’m open to suggestions.

  17. Rod says:

    I feel as some others have said ,, AANR should find out about these “clubs ” that do single out singles ,, it is not the life style ,, it is about being nude ,, and i for could careless if u are single ,, married or whatever ,, the nudist scene is not a “dating service ” or a “place to pick up others” it is a lifestyle that most of us love ,, and for the most part ,, i bet alot can agree ,, that we go to these clubs to be our selves and relax ,, not to hit on females or males ,, or to ck out their “stuff ” ,, if a single happens to be drawn to another single by more then just nudity ,, that is fine ,, but nudity in itself is a way of life for all that enjoy it ,, that is my opinion on it ,, i am not single ,, but untill lately i went as a single person at one of our resorts ,, my wife not into it “yet” but i did not have aprob ,, nor was i charged more ,, and i met alot of great folks ,, ,ales and females ,, and it was like a family ,, not like a dating service ,,

  18. Frank says:

    Melissa, you said it wonderfully, as did also those who weighed in on similar experiences both males and females, both unmarried and married singles (those spouses are totally not interested in the nudist experience as is mine). Last month I started to write a letter to the editor of AANR’s “The Bulletin” on this topic but now I can share a portion of what I was going to submit.

    I am new to nudism and my first experience was last September in Canada. While I was there they told me of a few clubs in my area which I e-mailed when I returned to the States. Both are within an hour’s drive from my house. I wanted to visit for the day but since I told them that I was “single,” and that my wife was not interested, both said ‘no’ except for their “Open House” days which they hold but once a year or that I should be accompanied by a female. (So a married person whose spouse has no problem with their going to a nudist club is not welcomed but one who shows up with a someone of the opposite sex whom they may or may not know, that is OK? Something is wrong here.) I would think that being an AANR member should carry privileges which permit at least visits if not membership to clubs. If one steps out of line then their membership to both the club and to the AANR could be forever revoked. So either you come as a couple, a family or as an AANR card carrying member. However, neither club even bothered asking if I were an AANR member before denying my visit request. One club, which is a 4-hour drive from my house and knew that I was an AANR member and that I would be visiting alone, did allow me to visit and rent a room for the night. However, as soon as they learned that I was married, they informed me that either I bring my wife on my next visit or my grounds fee would be that of a couple and not a single. My question to the AANR is this, if the AANR’s mission is to educate the public that nude recreation is healthy and a wholesome environment (which is exactly what we all expect) and to dispel the believe that these clubs are swing clubs where people just get naked and have sex, then why do clubs think that singles only want to visit or join their clubs for anything other than what the AANR stands for? The AANR needs to educate the clubs regarding single males and females before it can educate the general public. If the AANR cannot dispel this belief held by their clubs, then how can the AANR expect the general public to believe their message? And if they cannot dispel this erroneous belief then the AANR needs to revise its “Bill of Rights” where Point #6 states that one should be able to practice nudism “…free from considerations of age, gender, marital status, ….” Perhaps both “gender” and “marital status” need to be removed and the word “Nudist” should be replaced with “Nudist couples and Nudist Families”. For myself, being a nudist whose wife is not interested at all in being a nudist or even going to a clothing option club,I do not feel my rights are being protected by the AANR. But at the same time I would like to thank those clubs, of which I know a couple, which do accept singles.

    It would be nice to hear from the candidates in the upcoming 2012 AANR elections and hear their viewpoint of “singles” at AANR clubs and how they will uphold the “Nudist Bill of Rights”.

  19. Desmond Armstrong says:

    After my late wife (a dedicated non-nudist) passed away, I determined to find out if the local nudist club would permit an 85 year old single geezer to join. I was welcomed with open arms. Then I subscribed to an online senior meeting website, and was careful to state my interest in nudism in my profile, so that ladies who were opposed to it would not respond. Within a few weeks, I met a lady whose situation was complementary to my own. She also joined the club, and we have spent a wonderful year together.
    It’s never too late!

  20. Philip says:

    Here in Alabama, the only club is not only not “Single Friendly”, it is actually “Single Hostile”. And all for no reason. Everyone could be accomadated if the club owners wanted to. Maybe allow one day a week, or even one day a month, for singles. Maybe on Wednesday, or some other slow day. This silly “no singles” policy is eventually going to hurt the AANR much more than the club owners ever thought.

  21. desertgal says:

    Discrimination against singles isn’t a purely nudist issue. Singles almost always pay for two people when staying in any kind of lodging, not just on a cruise. This is true in the textile and nudist worlds.

    I’ve visited several nudist resorts and as a single female have not been refused admittance. However, there is at least one AANR facility that bundles their grounds fees with their lodging costs. When I asked why I had to pay not only for two people in the room but also two grounds fees the response was “it’s the way it is done”. I did *not* go to that facility. I can accept, though not like, that I have to pay for “the room” whether one or two are in it. But I will not pay two grounds fees for me as a single.

    The anomaly of a single nudist woman isn’t that she is a single nudist – it is that she’s a single woman traveling alone. I’ve been doing it for years and have always been seen as strange or brave or weird.

  22. Edmund John Torrey says:

    Hello Melissa:
    I happen to agree with you on the discrimination issue to being single or being perceived as single. Melissa I belong to the AANR and to LHN were I met you at Christmas. I live with someone and my relationship is not the best in the world. The Christmas Party was the first time I was able to relax in years. The problem is last year I looked into the Camp Grounds and they will list me as a single male when I visit because my girlfriend is not into the lifestyle. Which makes it harder to visit with friends, or have friends over bbecause she does not like my lifestyle. I belong to a site that is more for singles who are nudist. I sent to very basic, hello nice to meet you. Type emails to four people 2 male and 2 female, the men said yes to becoming friends the women never answered. So even in singles clubs you can be discriminated against. I can not wait for Opening Day at Juniper Woods, and I look forward to talking with you hopefully if you ar there.

  23. bardetty says:

    Melissa, when you mentioned the extra costs of a single on a nude cruise, I was wondering if groups like might not be a place to find a friend to share a room ?
    Just an idea…

    I agree with the other posters who recommend identifying the “not so friendly” places that are betraying the nudist/naturist ideal of tolerance/acceptance.

  24. Chuck says:

    Great article. The club I go to most often for vacation is large enough (and I’ve been there enough times) that my single status isn’t a problem, but I have run into the “no single men allowed” policy more than once. I just want to go to the clubs and relax and meet people! Ah well. My latest inquiry to a club near where I will be moving soon said that, yes, single men are allowed, but they are really set up for COUPLES. So, I may try and check them out. There needs to be a service to pair single men and single women who aren’t dating but just want to go check out a nudist club together…

  25. Dennis says:

    We should try and judge people by how they behave not who they travel with. We were all single at one time and chances are many of us will be single again one day, if only for a time. I believe each person has it within themselves to behave socially and responsibly even in face of the greatest temptation, and maybe there should be some frank discussions on that subject. Many members, first time visitors and prospective members are adults, or are adults and have families, so we CAN talk about these things and get to know who will stand up for the most common shared values, who needs to be watched and who should be asked to look elsewhere.

  26. Robert says:

    Dear Melissa,

    What a great article that so clearly states what it can mean not only to be a single nudist, but also a single in the world at large who has reached an age in which “never-married” status is rare.
    Although I am gay, I have asked friends who are single women and married couples if they would like to accompany me as a fellow visitor to nudist campgrounds and clubs. I invariably get an immediate, negative reaction of one of two kinds: “What makes you think that I would be the kind of person who would do that?” or “I am too fat and out of shape to even think of taking my clothes off around others”. I have asked maybe half a dozen people, and so far NONE have expressed any interest in accompanying me and ALL have reacted negatively to the question. I, regrettably, have given up asking and now must venture out into the nudist world alone.
    It is dismaying to have learned just how many women see their bodies as fat, ugly, shameful, disgusting, and who equate being asked to get naked to getting called a practical slut. Do these women think there is going to be a judges’ table at these places, with placards giving a 1-10 scores as they walk past?
    I would be interested in your recommendation of clubs to visit, if you would care to share. I can travel to the NY PA area you reference.

  27. Rod says:

    a real nudist does not discrminate on “how u look ,, or what u are” it is about a life style that many do not understand ,, as nudist we are not trying to emply anything ,, just enjoying what we like ,, and doing it in a socail enviroment ,, nudism is about being urself and not caring about what others think ,, nor ourselves caring or judging others ,,, it is not the way real nudist are ,, i for one could care less of who u are or what u look like ,, i will be a friend to u and socilize with u ,, but i ould do that if u were in textiles or nude ,, being nude in a club no matter what ,, does not mean u are anyone diff

  28. Susan Weaver says:

    Well thought out and said, Melissa. As always, thank you for your perception and honesty.
    I know you youngsters won’t believe it, but things are much easier for singles today than they were in 1985 when the Eastern Sunbathing Association President Dwight Smith (single), appointed me (also single) chair of an Ad Hoc Committee on Women and Singles. We recognized that as each club is an independent business with an independent business model and marketing niche, it would be better to use the carrot ratehr than the stick approach. And it did help – quite a lot. At that time there were many clubs with “gender quotas”; today there are only a few, and even those often admit singles for special events. In 1995 AANR President Leonite Moore started a series of articles for and about singles in the Bulletin, with the goal of emphasizing for clubs how valuable are single members and how short-sighted it was to exclude them. We saw a lot of results from that endeavor, as well.
    The problem of discrimination is universal, not limited to nudist resorts. The golf club where the Masters was held still is not open to women, despite the fact that some of their biggest sponsors are led by women executives. We’ll probably continue to fight this problem as long as all of us are still alive. But let’s keep trying.

  29. Alan says:

    Thanks Melissa, you have written a very interesting piece and it would appear one that strikes a cord with many people. Well done! Yours naturally, Alan

  30. Rod says:

    I am looking forward to the next segment of this article 🙂

  31. Ignite45 says:

    The singles problem is a serious and very destructive problem that will eventually undermine the very “freedom ” lifestyle we are all seeking. Moreover the dearth of females in the lifestyle is a very serious problem as well since for example a single male cannot gain entry to some clubs and there are so very few single ladies available I would say that the clubs who hang onto this archaic attitude have created their own “Catch 22” and thereby set up their very own demise. Again there are people running organizations-whom should not be-that are incapable of change . These intransigent block-heads should be identified in any organization and be removed.

    One more thing that AANR should investigate are several websites “New Clubhouse” and “Nude Friends” as I suspect that most of the participants are either fake or are listed as active members and are not. In short these are either intentional scams or they have become so as their data base is full of dropped out members. The end result for people looking for friends in these websites is that they pay but the organizations cannot and don’t deliver on their promise. SO BEWARE.

    Finally I think that AANR should start a legitimate service like this for its members and thereby they mak the money and we will all be assured that it will be run in an ethical manner

    Thanks for listening

    So are their any “ladies between 50 and 75 who want a “safe” friend to go to clubs in Pa or NJ or Gunnison Beach


  32. AANR says:

    Ignite 45,
    Thank you for your comments. The singles issue is one that strikes a chord in many of our members. AANR clubs are private businesses that are affiliated with us; however, AANR is unable to set policy for clubs. Certainly, some are more geared to singles than others. I hope you will read Melissa’s monthly column in The Bulletin that began with the one you just read on the AANR blog. Perhaps once this issue is brought to light on a regular basis there will be more understanding of the subject by everyone.

    I completely agree with your comments about nudist websites. Anyone who has Googled “nudist” on the Web has stumbled upon sites that are not true nudist websites. AANR is very concerned about websites that purport to be “nudist” sites but clearly are not to people who know what AANR’s brand of nudism/naturism really is. I did visit the two sites you mentioned and they are clearly among the websites that do not uphold our principles and standards.

    AANR has just begun a new program called AANR Trusted Websites for nudist websites that do, in fact, comply with true nudist values. Clubs, personal nudist sites/blogs, and nudist business websites are invited to submit their site. AANR staff reviews the sites and if they comply with our principles and standards, they are approved. They are given code to put on their site that displays the AANR Trusted Websties logo so visitors to that site know that the site they are visiting is a true nudist/naturist website.

    Thanks again for your comments and for visiting our blog.

    • Jerry Peck says:

      It is very simple AANR. If a club does not allow singles, strip your AANR membership from them. Let them go private without the AANR umbrella. They are discriminating and violating the Nudist Bill of Rights, and as long as you allow them to label themselves as AANR Affliated, YOU ARE AS WELL!

  33. Art says:

    Wow, Melissa, thanks for a fantastic article. I look forward to your future articles. And the blog replies and comments are full of incredible information. I am new to the AANR, but not to nudism/naturism. Being of German descent, I began acquainting myself with the Freikorperkultur (FKK) back in the early 1970s (before there was an internet). My initial positive insight was that in the nude, we are all socially equal (free of cost delineating clothing, baubles and bling, and the many other trappings of money). But even before that, as a child, I felt that natural was… well, natural, from the family pictures showing me running around in my birthday suit at the age of 2, to skinny-dipping with my buddies in Green Pond, to the public bathhouse, to the “no bathing suits” boy’s swimming classes in junior high school, to perpetually air-bathing around the house beginning(???) around the age of 10. I apologize for belaboring you with all these details, but I am trying to make a point here, Your Honor…

    I married at the ago of 20. Besides sleeping nude, my wife and I have skinny-dipped in the warm Caribbean waters of St. Maarten and Antigua. We have sat on rocks under waterfalls bathing our bodies in sunlight and skinny-dipped in our own backyard pool. My wife passed away almost three years ago after an extended illness. Now, for the first time in 36 years, I found myself alone… definitely not by choice. This year I joined the AANR, a distinguished and reputable association. Then when I started checking out the various clubs and resorts (even non-land based), I was met by additional “SINGLE MEN’S” fees or cold/hostile attitudes. Wow, for the first time in my life… I felt dirty just because I was a single man. I’m sorry if my reaction seems overly sensitive, but this is how it made me feel. I’m not looking for a relationship, not interested in checking out the ladies, men or children. I just want to enjoy air-bathing in a safe and friendly environment. I am not a swinger, predator or pedophile, but that is exactly how “single men’s” fees and suspicious club attitudes make me feel. I welcome background checks. Isn’t it time to corporately address ALL SIDES of the single issue? I really did suspect something of this nature when I filled out the AANR application and the status options were Single, Married, or In a Relationship. All government and private sector applications also include Divorced and Widowed on their applications. There IS a difference between a 59 year-old man who’s never been married “single” and a man who was widowed after 36 years of marriage “single”. My opinion.

    In closing (preacher-talk), earlier this month I decided to attend an advertised beach bash at a landed club about 100 miles from where I live that I found from a link on the AANR website. After only receiving a “half-response” to my email, I called them and received the cool reply that so many of you have experienced. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I made plans to attend. The day before the event, I decided to check THEM out. I discovered online that the club founder had two allegations of child molestation filed against him. I canceled my plans to attend. Apparently, their idea of “safe and friendly” was different from both my idea of “safe” and “friendly”. I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking my children or grandchildren. Case in point… don’t let background checks be a one-way street.

    Yours for a safe, friendly and enjoyable natural life,

  34. jake lee says:

    Hi from the other side of the pond.
    I hope no one minds me butting in as its US club related.
    Over in the UK i found a fantastic nudist place called eureka it had been around since the 60,s i think and is by its admission a fully accepting place. I used to go with my girlfriend and now im single I wanted to sign up for a yearly membership make some new friends and maybe take some girl mates there sometimes. The membership is £150 for woman or £300 for men & couples. So I get to pay double for no reason whatsoever?? I have just emailed their site saying it is discrimination and await a reply. Cant say im super impressed with double standards. The punch line is if i go with a girl there are still some twats who sit nearby and perv until I give them a look and they move. sucks here as much as it sucks there sadly

  35. Allen says:

    I want to follow up with this topic with the AANR this winter here in 2017 moving forward to 2018. I am a single male nudist who enjoys more than half of my time at stays at various clubs but still feel a hurdle of sorts of being completely welcomed. It really is a couples-based society in the nudist world.

    Interesting to read this post from over five years ago.

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